What my heart tells me.....

I am first and foremost a child of God....I am also a Christian, a daughter, a sister, a spouse, a mother, a friend, a teacher and most likely the oldest member of the RENT community.....so I look at things with all of those life experiences. I find the story behind these characters gripping because it is real, gritty and messy. It is not pretty or comfortable.....that is real life......real life involves broken people with painful pasts and hidden demons....life-changing illnesses and financial challenges....human struggle....human relationships.....I am a volunteer each month in my church's Food Pantry where we serve over 400 hungry families and I see in the faces of our clients with the questions...."Will I lose my dignity?"....."Will someone care?"...."Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?".......Sometimes it unnerves me that they are in this situation, many times it challenges my compassion for their choices...... Most of the time it breaks my heart! But I feel God calls me to be compassionate and encouraging.....everyone has the desire to be known and loved....EVERYONE! In the story of RENT I can relate most to Tom and Angel because they seek to answer this for each other....they demonstrate love, family, and community more than any of the chracters....."I'll be your shelter.....Be my lover....I'll cover you...Open your door....I'll be your tenant...Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet...But sweet kisses I've got to spare...I'll be there...I'll cover you" All people no matter what their choices are ask the same questions and seek the same thing....Who will accept me for me? Whose love has the power to protect me? Shelter me? Cover me? Many times I feel it would be easy to write off people because their life choices make me uncomfortable....it would be easy not to give credence to their pain, their questions, their stories because I might not agree with their choices. That's when I am reminded over and over that Jesus did not take the easy path...He doesn't condemn or write off even the most shocking of sinners....He enters their story...He listens to their questions...He knows their fears...He weeps when they weep....I may not have experienced what these characters in RENT have experienced but I have clung to my own mistakes, addictions, my own sins, my own failures....but I believe God says "I care for you, and I am the only One that can cover you...Let me be your shelter"....He knows you are broken and yet He still cares for you. This is what I believe and this is how I strive to be each and every day...although I fall short miserably....yet in spite of my sins I am loved.  And I measure life in love.